My Friend Ned

When the Juan Pierre to the Giants rumors started, for me it wasn't the player but the cash involved that scared me. Yes, Pierre is a no-throw, no-walk player who is a black hole at the top of the lineup whose sole value is that during the World Series against the Yankees, Fox watched him throw balls down the third base line to see which way his bunts would break. He was part of a special team and he stole lots of bases. He was a perenial member of the How to Play the Game the Right Way With Small Ball Team.

For the Giants he would basically guard Triples Alley, bat a horrible leadoff and that would be that. We did also employ one Kenny Lofton.

But the rumors had him making nearly $10 a year. That was more than Frank Thomas got from the Blue Jays and Durham was demanding.

But a friend we've been watching from afar came and saved us, taking that last bottle of scotch out of our hands and downing the hole thing himself, to the tune of four years and $44 million.

Thanks Ned.

The Dodgers are set to sign Pierre to the deal and set him loose in center and the leadoff spot. And all I can say is thank you, Mr. Colletti. You saw our weakness and you stepped in and did what any friend would do. This is the free agency equivalent of "Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Drunk," if your friend stopped you by going on a bender, stealing your car and crashing it into a police station.

This comment from the Baseball Analysts kind of summed it up:

Ned is a freaking Giant. A plant. A shill. A triple agent.... I'm baffled.

The Dodgers may still win more games than the Giants next year, but it wont be because of this.